The future of gaming is coming...

[dr.wang]

...But for now lets talk about Dwarf Fortress a game that is not only unfinished but also far and away better than D3 and its free!
So I am starting a new game, going to call the fort something catacombs, if one of you worms posts before the world creation is done I may head your call for whatever horrible name you offer.

[Andile™]

I think Something Catacombs is a terrific name. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[dr.wang]

Alright, I will see if that is an option, but it should be.
Still generating the world, for those of you who don't already know Dwarf Fortress generates its own world when you play creating its own history full of dragons and towers and books about books about books about a tower made by someone who was mauled by wolves right after finishing it.
And Andile I shall name a dwarf after you, a farmer because you have an orange in your sig. But you wont be growing oranges, just pump helmets, lots and lots of plump helmets.

[dr.wang]

Bumping because I just started to play after work and some other bullshit. I am settling the fort next to a river called the Luredflair.
The starting seven dwarfs are as follows
Marou, Grower/Brewer: so named because I was unsure if leadership goes to the dwarf with the most skills or the one whose name just happened to be on top of the list and I wanted Marou to be the leader as it seemed only fitting.
Sillywilly, Miner: Because its a simple job and dangerous.
Taost Miner: because I need two dwarfs to mine in case the other dies of a pick axe wound.
Andile, Grower: for reasons stated above.
Norska, Carpenter: To make shit and I think that was his real life job too.
Nester, Mason: He said he was part of some group that did mason work and for free, I think
Random, Woodcutter: made fun of me once, so I gave him a job that requires him to go outside and likely get eaten by something.

To my surprise neither something nor catacombs are in the list of words you can use to make the name of your fort. I went with the next best thing Gamecat that translates to Bakatkun in dwarfenese. It also auto named the group "The Grooved Keys" I am sticking with it because I got a good feeling about it.
Anyway, now to establish the proud fortress of Gamecat!
I will keep updates if anyone cares or wants a dwarf named after him.

[Boxy Brown]

I will keep updates if anyone cares or wants a dwarf named after him.

This guy.

[Ero Elohim]

I love dwarves. Let me know how I die.

[Valec]

Ero Elohim has died of dysentery.

[Andile™]

Am I growing plumpkins yet? :-p

[dr.wang]

Chapter 1 Dwarfin' aint easy.

We set out late in 250 arriving just as the year turned in 251. I was chosen to lead the expedition for the foreseeable future. Me, a simple carpenter along with two miners, two farmers, a mason and wood cutter are to establish a new fort in the name of Queen Libash. After weeks of arguing we have decided on a name: Gamecat. -from the journal of Norska, the month of Granite, 251.


Spring: Not much happening as the fort is still young so I am going to fill out space with the Journal gimmick for the time being at least until I find something worth taking a screenshot of.


Andile you are growing plump helmets, a wonder fungus that can be eaten raw, cooked or turned into wine, its easy to grow and grows all year round, best of all it grows on any soil so no one has to die as I try to figure out how irrigation works. The farm managed to be infested by both normal flies and acorn flies for a moment, now its just the acorn flies, our fortresses first win against an invading force I suppose. Outside of that, farmers farm, miners mine, and carpenters carpent.

Summer: The acorn flies are gone, but only because they ran out of stuff to eat, this sets our farm back a good deal. I hope our first wave of migrants bring food.
They didn't.
We now have a dwarf population of 17 new to our fort.
Boxy the Clerk, he's job is to count things, he was our first migrant and boxy was the first to post after Andile, so he is stuck, counting things.
Saz stone detailer: He's job is to to make the stone walls of our fort better by carving pictures into them. Often he will do this in the most dickish way possible by carving images of a dwarf's family being butchered by goblins on the walls of the dwarfs room. Seemed fitting I shall call him Saz.
Ero furnace operator: His job is to burn things, and wonder outside and die whenever there is nothing to burn.
Landon leather worker: he was the gay one right? I gave him the leather working job just in case.
Sofista Woodcrafter: He makes small wooden trinkets to sell to tourists.
Valec Farmer: we don't need anymore farmers, so I am just going to draft his ass into military later.
And four fucking children belonging to various migrants. Some of you are mothers by the way.
We have stuck Galena, an ore that produces both silver and lead.
So far for these seasons I only got us a place to put our stuff and the mason and carpenter workshops set up so now everyone is at least doing something. Short on food and no drink, we may all die if the brook freezes over during winter. A dinning room is established so the dwarfs have some place to hang out at the worst possible time. Got Boxy doing the counting.
I think I will keep this updated at least twice a season until things start happening. If you want screenshots of a rogue-like just ask or rearrange a bunch of ACII tiles until you see something you like.

[Boxy Brown]

Well I am a math genius so that works out pretty well.

[Zoobi]

I lol'd.

[Ero Elohim]

I think I got stuck with the shittiest job. Awesome. Hope I get my eyes trampled by an elephant and set the fort on fire.

[dr.wang]

Chapter 2: Do golems dream of ASCII tile represented sheep?
I am the best in the world at what I do and what I do is countin.’ I have counted the stars, I’ve counted for kings and queens and I have counted beans. Countin’ its what the gods put me on their green earth for and countin’ is what I came to Gamecat for. I came to the fort leader, a dwarf by the name of Norska. Told him I was here for countin’ he said we needed someone who can work metal and I told him I saw no metal here to count. ‘What about raising farm animals?’ he asked, I don’t farm, I don’t fight, I don’t work metal. Countin’s what I know. Journal of Boxy, Galena 251

Autumn: Got Saz to start carving engravings in the crafting area, most of his engravings are about the same roc Tharm Willfuljudges going around killing dwarfs, humans and elves throughout history before being slain by an elf. Not sure what that has to do with crafting but whatever.
The flies come back every now and again. Not sure what to do about that they seem to be able to get through the door.
New migrants only three this time, a family.
Zoobi fisherdwarf: He fishes and gets eaten by things and finds goblin ambushes.
Dumah yet another farmer, is good with animals.
Zuglar, a child of ten who had just arrived as gotten a fey mood and seems as though he is going to make us an artifact. He took the Craftsdworf shop though so it likely wont be anything useful, but it should look pretty.
The child is now demanding bones for his project, somehow we do not seem to have access to these it is likely now that child will starve himself to death unable to finish the project, unless I can find some bones.
Had to butcher a horse for the child. But he was able to finish his project: A mace made of horse bone and studded with silver.
Merchants came by, made Boxy trade with them, trading is kind of like counting I guess. Some Kobold thieves visited us to, but got chased away before they managed to steal something and one of them had his head caved in by one of the caravan guards.

Winter: Some giant hamsters have appeared. Brook froze over but the brewery is up so no one will die of thirst seems like we survived the food crises. Other two horses starved to death, guess someone should have been taking care of them.
Now it is Taost’s turn to go crazy and build something. He is asking for yarn cloth, something we do not have. I fear he is not long for this world. A goblin snatcher tried stealing one of our children, he got ran off and escaped childless. Only to have another show up and snatch a child, Ber Etostolkum her parents Landon and Val do not seem to mind much.
Spring as arrived the fortress has lasted a year with only one loss. Maybe two of Taoist does not get his yarn cloth and goes crazy.
Kind of a slow last few seasons, but the amount of snatchers and thieves is a sign we will be seeing full on goblin attacks soon.

[Andile™]

You forgot to say that Andile went missing and no one cared.

[Norska]

Fucking epic.

I will lead us all to glorious and humerous deaths!

And perhaps build a table.

[Mute]

I'm not sure whats going on here, but I like your stories and want a dwarf named after me.

[Zoobi]

Yay I get to be useful and get food until I get eaten.

[Valec]

Valec Farmer: we don't need anymore farmers, so I am just going to draft his ass into military later.

Why wait?

[dr.wang]

Chapter 3 Magma Boogaloo
I came here to Gamecat, because I thought it would be different than the normal working day of the mountain home. But now I find myself doing the same thing I was doing last time, carving little wooden trinkets to sell. I fear the other Dwarfs don’t respect me, believing my occupation to be ‘dangerously elf-like.’ The elves would not even take them because using wood to make things offends them. I am doing the same thing I did in the mountain homes, only now someone has carved a bunch of engravings on the walls of my work place of beasts slaying our kinsfolk mostly the same damn roc everyplace I look. I hate it here, I did not even know about the child being taken until a month after it happened, there is only twenty of us here! Or nineteen now.
Another dwarf went crazy, the second one, a miner this time. He stands there yelling for yarn, something we do not have. I can’t deny a small pinch of fear in my heart each time his hand brushes over that pick axe of his. But I am a patriot, I will give anything for the mountain homes even when I don't want to, so I will continue to carve my small wooden trinkets.
Journal of Sofista, Obsidian 251.

Spring. We have survived for a year 252 is upon us, Taost still demands yarn, something I have net to see in this game but he really wants it. Not sure what to do but hope the next caravan has some. Most silk I have ever seen though.
Would like to start our military going but we lack anyone who can make weapons and armor and the only metals we have are zinc, silver and lead, none of that would make a good weapon. So right now our military is anyone who is not afraid to strangle another sentient creature that might be stealing things.
I got Saz carving some engravings in the dinning hall. Something besides that damn roc, mostly the founding of Gamecat, that should put the dwarfs in a better mood.

New migrants
Mute a spinner: he spins cloth and other shit that we don’t have. Aeinna weaver: weaves the cloth that we don’t have. Djive Jeweler: makes jewelry out of the gems we don’t have. Zavon spinner: another goddamn spinner. Graveworm potash maker: I wont be using potash. Draybook Herbalist: finds herbs, something any dwarf can do, but he came with a kill count of seventy seven, so he gets to lead our military of unarmed spinners and farmers. Graham Cracker farmer: because why not? Alex Mars Fisherdwarf: fishes the fish and is not afraid of anything. Gimlimiester animal dissector: not sure why we would need one, I think he does it for food, or he just enjoys it, I am not sure. Draconian wax worker: because he is a democrat so I am sure he likes candles. Wulf Beekeeper: looks like we are going into the wax business. Garal Ranger: running out of names for our dwarfs, he hunts things so we might not all starve to death. VKhaun Gem setter: puts gems into things. Gems, once again, that we do not have. Ofrm1 Seige operator: Might be useful, makes siege weapons. Pyrrhrus soapmaker: makes soap, his name is pink. Smeekins weapon maker: someone who would be useful if we had good metals. Stalis Diagnoser: he diagnoses dwarf injuries “yup, its been cut off” he is now our chief medical dwarf being closest thing to a doctor that we have. Ziel pump operator: operates pumps, gets drafted into the army. Esfires weapons smith: I am just going to have him make useless metal trinkets now. Dark Hades ranger: running out of active catacombers. Nicky Glassmaker: something something gay. Uber Presser: not sure what a presser is, so I am going to make him replace Taost. Saxiphone ranger: because shrimp playing a saxophone = Aragon. Taolas bone doctor: has 91 kills, must not be good at his job. Woodstock shearer: all together now; shears animals that we do not have. Fork cheese maker: I recall fork telling us he was fat way back in the day, sins of the cheese business I guess.
And 3 children. I had to post it as a brick of words otherwise this would be one long ass post.

All and all 29 new dwarfs bring our population to a bloated 48 all supported by a farm that had trouble feeding 20.
Going to start our military and law enforcement groups. Mute is our Sheriff, Dreybook leads our military. Dray commands a squad of crossbow dwarfs consisting of Graham, Fork and Pyrhrus. Glim is leading a melee squad of Ziel and Zavon.
And now that we have doctors we can see what health problems everyone has. Draybook and Taolas have impaired vision in case anyone cares.
Landon (can’t pick genders in this game.) has given birth to a girl we are at 49 dwarfs.
Taost went crazy now is just mopping about doing nothing, besides taking off his pants.
He has now died of thirst in the dining hall. His pick axe shall go to Uber, our new miner. So we may now continue mining deeper into the ground. The loss will no doubt way heavily in our hearts.
A small group of Keapeople showed up Dark Hades proved his patriotism and bravery by shooting one of their women in the head with a crossbow bolt. I am now going to give him his own private quarters in reward.
I have also expanded our farm, though we are still short on seeds.
The elven merchants have shown up at the end of spring, we traded some zinc for berries giving us more food and because elves are dicks. Find out what happens on the next chapter!
We should not have another massive migration wave like we just had so I might be able to go back to two seasons a chapter unless something interesting finally happens.

[VKhaun]

Truly, truly outrageous.

[Sillywilly]

Sillywilly, Miner: Because its a simple job and dangerous.
Taoist Miner: because I need two dwarfs to mine in case the other dies of a pick axe wound.

Lol.

I think I should get to be Minister of Religion and Taoist should be the "pacifier". He's the guy that goes around keeping the soldiers wives satiated while they're off to war.

[dr.wang]

Big update but first some questions
What is dwarf fortress? It’s a rogue like RTS, try to keep up with the times, it uses ASCII tiles so I am not bothering with screen shots because I would have to explain everything anyway.
I want an update on my dwarf! Not a question, but ok, if you need to ask I doubt your dwarf is doing anything interesting anyway, but I will try to keep you updated.
What about the world? Dwarf Fortress generates a new world each time you play, luckily I have made a copy so we can go through the history of just about anything.
And sorry Silly religion is not that advanced in this game yet, it just makes random gods for dwarfs to sometimes worship. Also Taost is dead.

Chapter 4: I Know Why the Caged Elephant Kills.
(may not contain elephants)
I was outside when that big group of migrants showed up, cutting wood, as is my job. Its important, all of us original seven had an important job. Not going call myself a hero for it, just what I do. One of the migrants came up to me, smiling. I have no clue where they get these guys, I see he as some sort of weird knife on him. “I am Shearer!” he told me, I did not say ‘hello’. “Alright,” I tells him. “Fraid we don’t go any sheep though.” He looked confused, almost felt sorry for him as he told me his name was Woodstalk. “No sheep,” I said again as he did not seem to understand. “Got cats though, you can shear one’o them.” I said he just looked confused some more and went on inside. What kind of dwarfs are they sending us?
Random, 252, no month given.

Summer 252.
Elves left the fort. Graveworm has been taken by a strange mood and has commandeered the craftsdwarf shop.
New migrants.
A presser, a suturer (some sort of doctor thing), two rangers, a new miner, another wax worker, four children, a spinner, a trader and another fisherdwarf and a glazer and a farmer. I am out of names to give them so I will just do requests for anyone who wants a dwarf or whatever.
Our population is now 63, I am able to see our created wealth of 100,000 dwarfbucks. I am now aware of a new problem, clothes, they are starting to rot and we have no way of making more.
Sofista has given birth to a girl and then went back to making wooden trinkets. We have thirteen goddamn children. I have decided to name this child Taost II in honor of our fallen friend.
Grave as finished his project, a buckler made of bone and leather with an IMAGE of a gem on it, not that valuable Grave as disappointed us.
The human caravan as arrived, going to trade our useless shit for their useless shit. Not much has happened this summer, a kitten got stung by a bee.

I like plump helmets. You can make them into wine, you can eat them raw you can eat them cooked. Easy to grow and it grows all year long. It feeds armies, it feeds the miners, it feeds the craftsdwarfs and the masons. It’s a dependable mushroom, more important than any stone, though you won’t hear any other dwarf admitting that. That is why it annoyed me when Valec, some young lad who has been helping us farm said he would rather put away his hoe for a spear. ‘Soul of a stone’ something he said he wanted to prove he had, said it meant he would be strong in the face of danger. But for all his bluster he was to nervous to simply ask Dray to let him join at first. I thought he would never work up the courage, but it seems I am wrong, he will be starting his training in Automn, soul of a stone? The miners break stone every day and most of it is useless, I would rather have the soul of a plump helmet.
Andile 252

Autumn 252
Valec joined the army, part of the melee squad. Grabbed a cross bow, but whatever.
Another goblin snatcher showed up, got away empty handed though. Zoobi gave birth to a boy, we had a net gain in children despite the snatcher visit.
Ziel wounded a sparrow man that was hanging a little close to our fort, but it flew away. Another Snatch arrived and fought with of our cats. The cat survived and the goblin escaped.
Got the hospital going, going need some soap and plaster, to keep it from being a check point to the after life.
More migrants, not going to name them, if you want one just ask. A wood cutter, a bowyer, two children, a clothier, a furnace operator, a siege operator, a spinner, a peasant, two fishery workers and a potter.
We now have 77 dwarfs.
One of the unnamed dwarfs just slammed his fist through a great horned owl mans skull. I guess we need to arm these guys a bit better.
We keep getting visited by bird people of various species. All they do is hang out and scare some of our dwarfs until someone beats one up.
One of the unnamed fish cleaners was taken by a feymood and has taken over a crafts dwarfs shop. Any dwarf who gets a strange mood keeps doing this and it prevents Sofista from doing his job. One of the children has grown to be a peasant, I will let you people choose a job for him.
The fish cleaner is done with his job, he has made a short sword of out raven bone. Not sure if that would be useful, but it looks pretty.
Looks like another- oh fuck me! Ambush! By goblins 12 of them, and two kobold thieves , though they might have just been unlucky sons of bitchs caught in the middle of this. We lead them into the entrance that’s only one tile wide forcing them to fight single file, but they got past our marksmen now everything is a mess Gilimeister kills one if the goblins, crashing its head in but not before it wounds an unnamed crossbowmen. Valec had his hand broken by a dwarf mace, he will never hand stand again. Ziel got brained by a goblin sword the goblin, called Ngebzo, went on and slew Valec with a sword strike to the head. And Pyrrhus died having his bones broken before having his head caved in. Damn, that swordsmen went and killed Fork too. An unnamed hunter got killed somewhere in all this. To much to keep up with, I recruited the entire fort to attack. Mute and Drey got killed by that damn sword goblin. Andile has died too, by Ngebzo.
We are fighting back, but they have better fighters, and Ngebzo. The goblins retreated when they saw a dwarven caravan come up.
Among the dead are:
Andile, Valec, 2 children, Mute, Draybook, Graham, Gimlimeister, Pyrrhus, Ziel, an unnamed hunter and Fork.
I will say Gimlimeister did hold them off in the narrow hall long enough for us to bring in reinfocements, still trying to figure out who is wounded. Random had his left leg mangled. So did Nester. A few minor wounds to the unnamed, one guy though is so beat up I doubt he will make it.
Most of our animals are dead, Djive and Landon are missing. What looks like they caught a lot of us out in the open. We went from 77 to 63 dwafs. I only see like three dead goblins, either you guys really dropped the ball or they carry their dead with them.

Winter is upon us.

[Boxy Brown]

Haha! Boxy's still alive and well! Get owned everyone else.

[Valec]

Big update but first some questions
What is dwarf fortress? It’s a rogue like RTS, try to keep up with the times, it uses ASCII tiles so I am not bothering with screen shots because I would have to explain everything anyway.
I want an update on my dwarf! Not a question, but ok, if you need to ask I doubt your dwarf is doing anything interesting anyway, but I will try to keep you updated.
What about the world? Dwarf Fortress generates a new world each time you play, luckily I have made a copy so we can go through the history of just about anything.
And sorry Silly religion is not that advanced in this game yet, it just makes random gods for dwarfs to sometimes worship. Also Taost is dead.

Chapter 4: I Know Why the Caged Elephant Kills.
(may not contain elephants)
I was outside when that big group of migrants showed up, cutting wood, as is my job. Its important, all of us original seven had an important job. Not going call myself a hero for it, just what I do. One of the migrants came up to me, smiling. I have no clue where they get these guys, I see he as some sort of weird knife on him. “I am Shearer!” he told me, I did not say ‘hello’. “Alright,” I tells him. “Fraid we don’t go any sheep though.” He looked confused, almost felt sorry for him as he told me his name was Woodstalk. “No sheep,” I said again as he did not seem to understand. “Got cats though, you can shear one’o them.” I said he just looked confused some more and went on inside. What kind of dwarfs are they sending us?
Random, 252, no month given.

Summer 252.
Elves left the fort. Graveworm has been taken by a strange mood and has commandeered the craftsdwarf shop.
New migrants.
A presser, a suturer (some sort of doctor thing), two rangers, a new miner, another wax worker, four children, a spinner, a trader and another fisherdwarf and a glazer and a farmer. I am out of names to give them so I will just do requests for anyone who wants a dwarf or whatever.
Our population is now 63, I am able to see our created wealth of 100,000 dwarfbucks. I am now aware of a new problem, clothes, they are starting to rot and we have no way of making more.
Sofista has given birth to a girl and then went back to making wooden trinkets. We have thirteen goddamn children. I have decided to name this child Taost II in honor of our fallen friend.
Grave as finished his project, a buckler made of bone and leather with an IMAGE of a gem on it, not that valuable Grave as disappointed us.
The human caravan as arrived, going to trade our useless shit for their useless shit. Not much has happened this summer, a kitten got stung by a bee.

I like plump helmets. You can make them into wine, you can eat them raw you can eat them cooked. Easy to grow and it grows all year long. It feeds armies, it feeds the miners, it feeds the craftsdwarfs and the masons. It’s a dependable mushroom, more important than any stone, though you won’t hear any other dwarf admitting that. That is why it annoyed me when Valec, some young lad who has been helping us farm said he would rather put away his hoe for a spear. ‘Soul of a stone’ something he said he wanted to prove he had, said it meant he would be strong in the face of danger. But for all his bluster he was to nervous to simply ask Dray to let him join at first. I thought he would never work up the courage, but it seems I am wrong, he will be starting his training in Automn, soul of a stone? The miners break stone every day and most of it is useless, I would rather have the soul of a plump helmet.
Andile 252

Autumn 252
Valec joined the army, part of the melee squad. Grabbed a cross bow, but whatever.
Another goblin snatcher showed up, got away empty handed though. Zoobi gave birth to a boy, we had a net gain in children despite the snatcher visit.
Ziel wounded a sparrow man that was hanging a little close to our fort, but it flew away. Another Snatch arrived and fought with of our cats. The cat survived and the goblin escaped.
Got the hospital going, going need some soap and plaster, to keep it from being a check point to the after life.
More migrants, not going to name them, if you want one just ask. A wood cutter, a bowyer, two children, a clothier, a furnace operator, a siege operator, a spinner, a peasant, two fishery workers and a potter.
We now have 77 dwarfs.
One of the unnamed dwarfs just slammed his fist through a great horned owl mans skull. I guess we need to arm these guys a bit better.
We keep getting visited by bird people of various species. All they do is hang out and scare some of our dwarfs until someone beats one up.
One of the unnamed fish cleaners was taken by a feymood and has taken over a crafts dwarfs shop. Any dwarf who gets a strange mood keeps doing this and it prevents Sofista from doing his job. One of the children has grown to be a peasant, I will let you people choose a job for him.
The fish cleaner is done with his job, he has made a short sword of out raven bone. Not sure if that would be useful, but it looks pretty.
Looks like another- oh fuck me! Ambush! By goblins 12 of them, and two kobold thieves , though they might have just been unlucky sons of bitchs caught in the middle of this. We lead them into the entrance that’s only one tile wide forcing them to fight single file, but they got past our marksmen now everything is a mess Gilimeister kills one if the goblins, crashing its head in but not before it wounds an unnamed crossbowmen. Valec had his hand broken by a dwarf mace, he will never hand stand again. Ziel got brained by a goblin sword the goblin, called Ngebzo, went on and slew Valec with a sword strike to the head. And Pyrrhus died having his bones broken before having his head caved in. Damn, that swordsmen went and killed Fork too. An unnamed hunter got killed somewhere in all this. To much to keep up with, I recruited the entire fort to attack. Mute and Drey got killed by that damn sword goblin. Andile has died too, by Ngebzo.
We are fighting back, but they have better fighters, and Ngebzo. The goblins retreated when they saw a dwarven caravan come up.
Among the dead are:
Andile, Valec, 2 children, Mute, Draybook, Graham, Gimlimeister, Pyrrhus, Ziel, an unnamed hunter and Fork.
I will say Gimlimeister did hold them off in the narrow hall long enough for us to bring in reinfocements, still trying to figure out who is wounded. Random had his left leg mangled. So did Nester. A few minor wounds to the unnamed, one guy though is so beat up I doubt he will make it.
Most of our animals are dead, Djive and Landon are missing. What looks like they caught a lot of us out in the open. We went from 77 to 63 dwafs. I only see like three dead goblins, either you guys really dropped the ball or they carry their dead with them.

Winter is upon us.

It's your fault I died. I was never meant to be a farmer and so when the battle came, I was already dead inside.

Nice work.

[Draconian]

Draconian wax worker: because he is a democrat so I am sure he likes candles.

Haha. I'm not a democrat, but being a candlemaker seems like a fine trade in dwarfland, and I didn't die in the massacre.

Grave as finished his project, a buckler made of bone and leather with an IMAGE of a gem on it, not that valuable Grave as disappointed us.

Of course he did.





Great thread, will continue reading in hopes of some outrageous conclusion to my simple candlemaking life.