Ok Cats, another read it and rip it thread.
Recently, while playing Guild Wars 2, Esfires inspired me to write a book. He just finished the one he had been working on, and he gave me some great advice. So, after mulling it over for a while, I finally decided that I would attempt to write an urban fantasy book that I had been thinking about for quite some time.
I'm not going to bore you with a gigantic wall of text. I'm only going to post the first one thousand words of the first chapter. I'd like your thoughts be they good or bad. And fuck you, you can't do what I do:
It started with a single reoccurring dream. For nearly every night of my twenty five years of life, I’d never had a dream that I could remember. There was one time when I was twelve that I was woken up after I’d been convinced that I fell to my death after stepping off a gigantic toilet seat. Freudian explanations notwithstanding that was the only single dream that I’ve ever remembered. So, I knew something in my life had changed when the dream started.
The first night the dream came, all I could remember was staring into the precipice of a vast and dark cavern. Around me was an overgrown and alien appearing forest. Trees were twisted fern-like messes in the rich colors of deep fall that branched off into a multitude of directions. There was a deep seeming of familiarity with the flora, though I knew somewhere in my consciousness that they resembled no earthen counterpart. Yet, they hardly registered that first evening. I stood in a clearing, surrounded by the strange and intimate trees, facing a large pool of darkness. There was an irresistible urge to step forward into it. The sort of insane urge that we all get when looking down from a very high place. We all know we won’t leap to our dooms, but the imagining of which is nonetheless primal, compelling, exciting. A wild thrill of panic surged through me as I took a step closer to the edge of the hole. Abruptly, the dream ended.
I woke that morning overwhelmed with esoteric feelings. Well, that and the imagery of the inviting dark space. Both haunted me throughout the day, like a tag team duo in a professional wrestling match. I attempted to distract myself with work, music, and talking to my co-workers. It was a rare thing for me to attempt embracing the purgatorial life of cubical-hood. Maybe, I felt like dwelling on it would cause me to ask questions about my own life that I wasn’t ready to evaluate. I knew that my life had not gone the way I planned. Whose life does? It can be a precarious psychological teeter-totter when you start asking about how happy you are or aren’t. I was balanced in that blissful place of contentment, neither particularly happy nor sad. If I was unfulfilled, I didn’t know it and didn’t want to know it. Something had changed though. Something was now different. The balance was lost. I knew unequivocally that I was going to have to begin evaluating my past, present, and future. And I couldn’t figure out why.
For the next few days I felt as pointedly hollow as the open blackness of my dream. Lingering existential questions moved from the periphery of my thoughts to front and center of my consciousness. I could barely drag myself out of bed to my now overwhelmingly unfulfilling job. Why did I want to go to that useless place anyways, to continue the same droll routines, and listen to the same unchanging complaints of everyone around me? My life had clearly turned out wrong. When I tried to ask myself that silly question you always hear folks say they were asked at an interview, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I could do nothing but draw a blank. What was worse though was when I looked back at the previous five years nothing had changed. I was still single, still slightly overweight, still wasting all my free time with video games. As painful as it was to admit it, I also knew that I didn’t have the energy to do anything about it.
Eventually, one morning, my will to force myself through another day of monotony broke. Naturally, I did the responsible thing and called in sick to work. There was no need to get out of bed. In fact, I decided at that moment that I would be quite content to quietly just pass on from the world right there in my bed. As I sat there in bed, staring at the wall, sleep came. The sharp landscape of the peculiar twisting trees came sharply into focus. I was once again overwhelmed with the veracity of the scene. Long scarlet vines spun around amber trunks in impractical formations. Leaves the color of dried blood sprouted randomly from vine and trunk alike. For all my effort to stand and study these marvelous trees, I felt the call of the abyssal cavity behind me. Once again, I was reminded of being up high. Only, this time instead of facing the plunge, it was behind me lapping at my heels. A cool cold draft blew up and caressed my heels. Slowly, carefully, I turned to face the darkness.
Before me, the mouth the seeming endless darkness yawned. The pit had grown considerably larger. Leaping to my doom didn’t feel exciting this time around. It seemed like it would be a mercy. A part of me hoped that I would die if I stepped into the dark. Maybe I could escape the meaninglessness of life, with yet another of my multitude of meaningless actions. That thought was fitting I decided. Here was a perfect power off button for the video game of my life. I started to feel pleased, even a little ecstatic at the thought. I pressed forward toward the edge spreading my arms. As I stood at the edge looking into the darkness, a final mote of hope-filled-doubt crept into view. It was a shining lime colored beacon in the shape of a crescent moon. I was instantly stilled in my tracks, and in fact, stumbled back a few steps. The moon grew considerably larger, hurling through the darkness at me with a ferocious speed. Slowly, my mind began to recognize the pattern of this strange bright green moon of hope. It was a cat’s eye.
Instantly, I jolted awake. My cat Tux stood on my chest glaring down at my face. It seemed improbable, but his eyes looked like they were full of molten green anger. I reached out to pet him, but he expertly maneuvered and shied away from my touch. Then he promptly stormed off to the edge of the bed, turned back to give me one more angry glare, then leaped out of sight.
"Doubt is not an agreeable condition, but certainty is an absurd one." ~ Voltaire