Don't ever have kids

[Zavon]

I know some of you have children (and for those of you that do you have my sympathies); but for the ones that don't: DONT DO IT!

My daughter is almost a year old now. She is teething really badly. Well one day, about 5 days ago, she comes home and my wife notices a rash on her. That night she began puking everywhere with the shits. It turns out, that another kid at the baby sitters had some kind of stomach virius, and my teething baby likes to steal the other kids pacifier whenever she can. So, then soon afterward, my wife starts vomiting. Violently. She ends up puking for a day and a night, so badly that I eventually end up taking her to the emergency room (shes pregnant with another one). This all the while I'm dealing with a shitting baby (she got over the worst of it but had to shit A LOT).

You can guess what happens next. About two days ago, I was in the bathroom and then projectile vomited out of nowhere. Shit just flew out like someone pulled the trigger on a super soaker. Fortunately my wife already had medicien from the ER but it didn't help that much as I've spent the last two days in bed violently throwing up and suffering from anal leekage.

My kid is back at the baby sitter, and it turns out that one little shit that started it all got everyone sick. The baby sitter, other parents, other kids.

THE SYSTEM IS FUCKING FLAWED. DONT BUY INTO IT. IT ISNT WORHT IT

[VKhaun]

*takes notes*

[Pyrrhus]

Must've had some Anti-Vaxxer at the s(h)itters.

[Sillywilly]

Must've had some Anti-Vaxxer at the s(h)itters.

Fuck you and your autistic kid with the polio immunity.

[Pyrrhus]

Fuck you and your autistic kid with the polio immunity.

But he's the best at finding spicy memes.

[Aeinna]

Its not anti-vaxxer, its the stomach flu, of which there is nothing to be done about it besides to puke and shit yourself for upwards of a week. It can sit in your system for up to 72 hours before you start showing symptoms.

And if you've never had the stomach flu, lucky you, cause its fucking horrible.

[Pyrrhus]

Its not anti-vaxxer, its the stomach flu, of which there is nothing to be done about it besides to puke and shit yourself for upwards of a week. It can sit in your system for up to 72 hours before you start showing symptoms.

And if you've never had the stomach flu, lucky you, cause its fucking horrible.

I mean I wasn't meaning that it literally was because of an anti-vax.

Also no never had the stomach flu, although I have had pneumonia and passed out from it.

[Marou]

I mean I wasn't meaning that it literally was because of an anti-vax.

Also no never had the stomach flu, although I have had pneumonia and passed out from it.

I wish there was a stomach flu vaccine; while I'm dubious about vaccines that have worse odds of bad side effects than your odds of getting whatever disease - the stomach flu is pure shit...and vomit...and shitvomit at the same time, sometimes for days.

[Zavon]

It's definitely one of the worst experiences of my life. There is nothing really I can think of to compare it to, it isn't just the pain, its the indignity of it. When you aren't retching uncontrollably, wishing you'd just please stop because nothing is even left in your stomach, you are seeping shit out of your ass with no control. By the end of it you have no energy to even help yourself, and everything in your brain and body hurts so bad you wish you could just sleep it all away. I'm still recovering from the bullshit, I got weak kneed today, and had my first real meal yesterday.

The only thing that I've ever had worse than it, was this south-east Asian stomach virus I got at Disney world. I legit passed out on the toilet of the bathroom floor of my honeymoon suite, prompting my wife to dial for emergency services. It was basically the same thing as a stomach flu, but uh, at a time when I'd been partying and living it up the night of.


If there were a stomach flu vaccine, I'd pay good money for that shit every year. It just isn't worth it. My wife had never had it before, and said it was the worst thing to ever happen to her in her life.

[Aeinna]

I was thinking it is worse than the regular flu. With the flu, you feel horrible, don't want to move, can barely do anything other than sleep but when you have the stomach flu, you have all of that WITH the add on of shitting and vomiting yourself for days. Last time I got the stomach flu, I actually had to get in the tub and stand there to shit and vomit because it was exorcist style spewing out of both ends. Also, from all the diarrhea your butt gets so raw, it will bring tears to have to poop again it hurts so bad.

It probably is one of the worst cold types of sickness you can get. The only thing I've seen that compares is my mother got the flu and pneumonia at the same time, she was sick in bed for 6 weeks.

[Sillywilly]

I actually had to get in the tub and stand there to shit and vomit because it was exorcist style spewing out of both ends.

So damn sexy lol.