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  1. #1
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    Default Don't ever have kids

    I know some of you have children (and for those of you that do you have my sympathies); but for the ones that don't: DONT DO IT!

    My daughter is almost a year old now. She is teething really badly. Well one day, about 5 days ago, she comes home and my wife notices a rash on her. That night she began puking everywhere with the shits. It turns out, that another kid at the baby sitters had some kind of stomach virius, and my teething baby likes to steal the other kids pacifier whenever she can. So, then soon afterward, my wife starts vomiting. Violently. She ends up puking for a day and a night, so badly that I eventually end up taking her to the emergency room (shes pregnant with another one). This all the while I'm dealing with a shitting baby (she got over the worst of it but had to shit A LOT).

    You can guess what happens next. About two days ago, I was in the bathroom and then projectile vomited out of nowhere. Shit just flew out like someone pulled the trigger on a super soaker. Fortunately my wife already had medicien from the ER but it didn't help that much as I've spent the last two days in bed violently throwing up and suffering from anal leekage.

    My kid is back at the baby sitter, and it turns out that one little shit that started it all got everyone sick. The baby sitter, other parents, other kids.

    THE SYSTEM IS FUCKING FLAWED. DONT BUY INTO IT. IT ISNT WORHT IT
    "Doubt is not an agreeable condition, but certainty is an absurd one." ~ Voltaire

    "I do think that most atheists are fat out of shape faggots that would be ok with other men shagging their women. The few that can actually get a woman. General failures at life in every regard. " Zavon

  2. #2

    Default Re: Don't ever have kids

    *takes notes*
    Nowadays when people start to get killed by fireballs, no one says they need to dodge the fireball anymore; they say they need to go get a fire resist ring and some ice damage so they don't have to.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Don't ever have kids

    Must've had some Anti-Vaxxer at the s(h)itters.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Don't ever have kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Pyrrhus View Post
    Must've had some Anti-Vaxxer at the s(h)itters.
    Fuck you and your autistic kid with the polio immunity.
    "Nah man, a Paladin has to play fair and by the rules. Do you really see Silly not attacking a weakened opponent? Or rather, not exploiting a weakness to take an enemy down? He'd totally do that. It's the law of the jungle with Silly, even if he does have faith. I think he's principled, just not merciful." - Zavon

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Don't ever have kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Sillywilly View Post
    Fuck you and your autistic kid with the polio immunity.
    But he's the best at finding spicy memes.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Don't ever have kids

    Its not anti-vaxxer, its the stomach flu, of which there is nothing to be done about it besides to puke and shit yourself for upwards of a week. It can sit in your system for up to 72 hours before you start showing symptoms.

    And if you've never had the stomach flu, lucky you, cause its fucking horrible.
    In this world is the destiny of mankind controlled by some transcendental entity or law? Is it like the hand of god hovering from above? Perhaps men have no control even over their own will.

    You're right, we are mortal and fragile. But even if we are tortured or wounded, we'll fight to survive. You should feel the pain we feel and understand. I am the messenger that will deliver you to that pain and understanding.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Don't ever have kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Aeinna View Post
    Its not anti-vaxxer, its the stomach flu, of which there is nothing to be done about it besides to puke and shit yourself for upwards of a week. It can sit in your system for up to 72 hours before you start showing symptoms.

    And if you've never had the stomach flu, lucky you, cause its fucking horrible.
    I mean I wasn't meaning that it literally was because of an anti-vax.

    Also no never had the stomach flu, although I have had pneumonia and passed out from it.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Don't ever have kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Pyrrhus View Post
    I mean I wasn't meaning that it literally was because of an anti-vax.

    Also no never had the stomach flu, although I have had pneumonia and passed out from it.
    I wish there was a stomach flu vaccine; while I'm dubious about vaccines that have worse odds of bad side effects than your odds of getting whatever disease - the stomach flu is pure shit...and vomit...and shitvomit at the same time, sometimes for days.
    "The argument that “people now have more freedom than ever” is based on the fact that we are allowed to do almost anything we please as long as it has no practical consequences."

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Don't ever have kids

    It's definitely one of the worst experiences of my life. There is nothing really I can think of to compare it to, it isn't just the pain, its the indignity of it. When you aren't retching uncontrollably, wishing you'd just please stop because nothing is even left in your stomach, you are seeping shit out of your ass with no control. By the end of it you have no energy to even help yourself, and everything in your brain and body hurts so bad you wish you could just sleep it all away. I'm still recovering from the bullshit, I got weak kneed today, and had my first real meal yesterday.

    The only thing that I've ever had worse than it, was this south-east Asian stomach virus I got at Disney world. I legit passed out on the toilet of the bathroom floor of my honeymoon suite, prompting my wife to dial for emergency services. It was basically the same thing as a stomach flu, but uh, at a time when I'd been partying and living it up the night of.


    If there were a stomach flu vaccine, I'd pay good money for that shit every year. It just isn't worth it. My wife had never had it before, and said it was the worst thing to ever happen to her in her life.
    Last edited by Zavon; 10-29-2017 at 12:39 PM.
    "Doubt is not an agreeable condition, but certainty is an absurd one." ~ Voltaire

    "I do think that most atheists are fat out of shape faggots that would be ok with other men shagging their women. The few that can actually get a woman. General failures at life in every regard. " Zavon

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Don't ever have kids

    I was thinking it is worse than the regular flu. With the flu, you feel horrible, don't want to move, can barely do anything other than sleep but when you have the stomach flu, you have all of that WITH the add on of shitting and vomiting yourself for days. Last time I got the stomach flu, I actually had to get in the tub and stand there to shit and vomit because it was exorcist style spewing out of both ends. Also, from all the diarrhea your butt gets so raw, it will bring tears to have to poop again it hurts so bad.

    It probably is one of the worst cold types of sickness you can get. The only thing I've seen that compares is my mother got the flu and pneumonia at the same time, she was sick in bed for 6 weeks.
    In this world is the destiny of mankind controlled by some transcendental entity or law? Is it like the hand of god hovering from above? Perhaps men have no control even over their own will.

    You're right, we are mortal and fragile. But even if we are tortured or wounded, we'll fight to survive. You should feel the pain we feel and understand. I am the messenger that will deliver you to that pain and understanding.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Don't ever have kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Aeinna View Post
    I actually had to get in the tub and stand there to shit and vomit because it was exorcist style spewing out of both ends.
    So damn sexy lol.
    "Nah man, a Paladin has to play fair and by the rules. Do you really see Silly not attacking a weakened opponent? Or rather, not exploiting a weakness to take an enemy down? He'd totally do that. It's the law of the jungle with Silly, even if he does have faith. I think he's principled, just not merciful." - Zavon

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